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Monster Girls Like You (2744 words) by ChocoChipBiscuit
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Monster Girls Don't Cry - Merc Fenn Wolfmoor
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: F!Original Character/Melanie
Characters: Melanie (Monster Girls Don't Cry), Original Female Character(s)
Additional Tags: Attempted Sexual Assault, Racism, COVID-19, Biphobia, Kink Shaming, Under-negotiated Kink, Food, POV Second Person
Summary:

You first see her in the aisle of the Asian mini-mart, between the chili crisp and the Shin Black ramen. You're both wearing K95s, hers pink and yours black, and are the only two people other than the clerk wearing masks. She's pale and narrow, wrapped in a maroon sweater at least two sizes too big, the yarn so plush you ache to rub your cheek in it. She's straw-blonde and white-girl wispy in a way that should look fragile, but there's a sharpness to her. A study in angles.

And then you notice her shadows.

She has five.

First fic for this fandom!

Monster Girls Don't Cry is a 7110 word short story that's free to read online, and it squished into my brainmeat enough that I wanted to write fic for it. :)

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I originally meant to post about all the spooky seasonal reading I've been doing, but in practice? I've been finishing up my T. Kingfisher binge. And while she does have some delightful horror (I really love the Sworn Soldier series, particularly What Feasts at Night), in practice I enjoy more of her fantasy stories. Even her fantasy often has a darker edge, but mixed with humor and a sort of wry mundane charm that I absolutely love.

So! I'm going to talk about these two books instead.

A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher - A sorceress intends to marry a rich man, and only her abused teenage daughter and the man's spinster sister can stand in her way!

More spoilerrific rambling! )

 Thornhedge by T. Kingfisher - Another fairytale retelling, because I just love fairytales! Based on a very simple idea: what if the wall of thorns had been meant to keep Sleeping Beauty in, instead of everyone else out?

Or: our story follows Toadling, a kidnapped human who had been raised by fairies (greenteeth, specifically) until she's becomes more fey and less human, and who now guards the wall of thorns and the creature inside.

It's beautiful and sweet and sad (but there is a happy ending!), and mostly I love this because of the beauty of falling in love and being loved by monsters, how Toadling truly loves and misses the greenteeth that raised her more than the humans who are technically her family of birth. There's guilt (oh so much guilt) about having failed in her appointed task and the long exhaustion of trying so hard to protect a world that she's become increasingly distant from.

It's a lovely novella and I devoured it over the course of two days. (Would have been one if I didn't have to go to work!)

And now, actually moving to horror: I really love the slow horror and atmosphere of What Feasts at Night, the incredible texture and feeling of this small hunting lodge and the way that there's sympathy even for the 'monster,' without excusing it. It's just really good and I still find myself thinking about terrifying silences and PTSD.

In contrast… A House With Good Bones just didn't hit me the same way. There were many elements I loved (the slow horror of the garden, the kind wildlife rehabber with her pet vulture who also happens to practice her own magic, the way that even though I'm not normally a huge insect fan reading a book written through the POV of an archaeoentomologist really gave me new appreciation of both archaeology and entomology!) and I can definitely pick up the themes of monstrous family legacies and loneliness and power turned spiteful, it just…I don't know. I feel a little strange leaving this so ambivalent, especially since I try only to write about books I enjoyed and/or felt strongly about, but maybe I just need more time to think about this one. All its little hooks in my brain and feeling unsettled and unsure what to do with that feeling.

Anyways! This was my Spooktober reading and I hope everyone has a safe and happy season!

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It's been another six months since I've yelled about books! I've been very fortunate that a lot of library books I've been waitlisted for have come in, and it finally got me off my butt to write about them! Or more accurately: to post the thoughts I've already written!

Books (Fiction)

 

The Midnight Bargain by C.L. Polk )

 

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang )

 

Morning Glory Milking Farm by C.M. Nacosta )

 

The Night Tiger by Yangsze Choo )

 

The Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo )

 

The Inugami Curse by Seishi Yokomizo )

 

Aunty Lee's Delights by Ovidia Yu )

 

Graphic Novels

American Born Chinese by Gene Luen Yang )

 

Nonfiction

Paved Paradise by Henry Grabar )

 

Unmasking AI by Joy Buolamwini )

 

Good books! Good reads! Even with the occasional good frustration!

I have one more book from the library (Mott Street by Ava Chin, which looks at Chinese-American history through family memoir) and then...I expect I'll need a break from reading. I have a few exchange assignments to finish up, then I look forward to diving into a video game. Probably Bastion, unless Control seduces me first. :')

Please let me know your thoughts if you have read any of these! I love yelling about books!!!!

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Technically, I failed most of my 2023 Writing Goals.

'Technically' because no, I didn't post either of my longfic projects, and no, I didn't do all the writing exercises I planned on doing.

Instead, I wrote a lot less in 2023. But I did a lot more nonfandom hobbies; I read more original work, including nonfiction. I spent more time jogging and going out with friends. I joined a board game meetup group. I have binoculars and while I hesitate to say I go 'birdwatching,' I definitely go bird-looking. (I'm also terrible at identifying most birds by their calls, but the Merlin app is very good for that!)

I'm trying to take that same sense of gentle exploration into 2024. Especially because I've been thinking of various reasons for why I've not been enjoying as much fanfic lately.

Essentially: I've come to think about the ways that fandom does (and does not) nourish me. Despite the much-vaunted transformative power of fandom, it often feels difficult (when it's not fundamentally hostile) for me to write about or for characters who are not just queer, but queer women of color, when writing for fandoms that so often default to white or pseudo-European fantasies as the baseline. (Some nitpicking about when it's the canon vs the people in the fandom who make those default assumptions, but the essential points remain the same.)

I've realized that for fandom to remain fun for me, I have to start consuming different fandoms and/or being more selective about how I engage with my existing fandoms.

So! I'm going to continue reading original work, and try writing fanfic for a few works that are new for me. I also plan to experiment more with writing original work, even if I choose not to post it. :)

Very loose bullet-point goals, just because having specific goals always helps
  • Still finish and post one longfic WIP (either Awoo AU or the Fallout Necromancy AU). (Undecided which, right now, which might be part of the problem; I need to get excited about them again. They're both in messy first draft stage so need revisions, then beta, then more revisions based on feedback.)
  • continue reading books about writing and doing the writing exercises; while 1 chapter/week remains the goal, no shame if it slides to 1 chapter/month
  • write for at least one new (to me) fandom this year, preferably for a canon that predominantly features characters of color. I'm already thinking about finishing my Fraud Squad fic, or maybe writing something for The Burning Kingdoms. I love Black Water Sister and don't feel like I can meaningfully write something for it right now, but there is this fic I'm so excited to read for it!
  • I am officially giving myself permission to be weird and experimental! Here's to writing the weird kinks and hyperspecific fetishes! Here's to writing second person POV! Here's to forced metaphors and alien analogies and leaning into my weird synesthesia tendencies!
That's it! Some very gentle goals for a very gentle year. :)
chocochipbiscuit: A chocolate chip cookie on a grey background (Default)
It's been six months since I last posted about books! I've been reading some fanfic, but it's mostly been library books. Per my usual, I'm only blurbing about the books and stories I actually enjoyed, or at least felt compelled and have opinions on!

Books (Fiction)

 

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin )

 

 Yellowface by R.F. Kuang )

 

The Stand-In by Lily Chu )

 

The Decagon House Murders by Yukito Ayatsuji )

 

The Thick and the Lean by Chana Porter )

 

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo )

 

Into the Riverlands by Nghi Vo )

 

Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia )

 

Books (Nonfiction)

The New Guys by Meredith Bagby )

 

An Immense World by Ed Yong )

 

Memoirs

Eat a Peach by David Chang )

 

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel )

 

Why Fish Don't Exist by Lulu Miller )

Original Work (Short Stories)

So You Want to Kiss Your Nemesis by John Wiswell - 939 words - “Welcome to the Intimate Blade. We find the edge for that special someone in your life. My name is Robin. How can I help you today?”


Umeboshi by Rebecca Nakaba - 3k words - Chain emails, auguries, and disconnection. This is weird and hurty and fucks me up a little.


The Lily and the Horn by Catherynne Valente - War conducted via poisons and antidotes, and two women separated by years and obligation.

I feel like certain patterns in my reading are pretty obvious; I'm always interested in more queer stories of course, but I'm actively trying to read more books written across the Asian diaspora. I love fantasy and science-fiction, but also enjoy historical novels and am trying to broaden my reading genres.

Currently, I'm reading Network Effect by Martha Wells. I feel like I'm one of the few people who doesn't love Murderbot (I just bounced off the short stories and dislike the style. I can recognize the craft in the story, but it's not something I enjoy) so I'm trying the novel instead to see if it works better for me this way.

If you have read or are interested in any of these books, gimme a shout! I love talking books. :D Tell me if you're reading anything interesting too! I can always add to my miles-long TBR pile!


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It's been a while since I've posted about books, so I'm going to jump right in!!!

Books (Fiction)

The Kingston Cycle )

 

When No One is Watching by Alyssa Cole )

 

A Master of Djinn by P. Djeli Clark )

 

Ring Shout by P. Djeli Clark )

 

The Fraud Squad by Kyla Zhao )

 

Books: Nonfiction

Hope in the Dark by Rebecca Solnit )

This was a lot of reading, and I still want to finish a few library books (and the first draft of the Fraud Squad hatemance fic!) before switching over to video games. :')

Hope you've been reading and playing good things, please share if there's anything fun you'd recommend!

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In honor of Pride, have some of my favorite F/F and F/NB reads!


Short stories (available online)

  • Radcliffe Hall by Miyuki Jane Pinckard - 40k word novella, with a Japanese student attending an American women's college in 1908. It's a Gothic novel with the characters encountering the supernatural, which is no less malevolent than systemic racism and homophobia.
  • The First Stop Is Always the Last by John Wiswell - Short and sweet time loop flirtation!
  • Scallop by J.L. Akagi - A woman begins growing eyes all over her body, and struggles to hide them. All the warnings for body horror, eye injury, and referenced sexual assault.
  • The World Ends in Salty Fingers and Sugared Lips by Jen Reese - Time loop story about the end of the world and the ways we try to deal with the crushing uncertainty of the inevitable.

Romance

  • One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston - Subway time travel romance! August moves to New York and meets Jane, a butch punk from the 70s who’s trapped on the subway. It’s warm and sweet and funny, with all the feels and queer found family goodness.
  • Fatal Fidelity by Rien Gray - Dark romance/erotic suspense featuring a bi femme fatale and a nonbinary assassin! The series begins with Love Kills Twice, in which Justine hires an assassin to get rid of her abusive husband…unaware that Campbell was also hired to kill her. Absolutely delicious.
  • Feminine Pursuits series by Olivia Waite - While I’m listing it as a series, each novel is entirely stand-alone! These are a set of historical F/F novels featuring women in arts and science (and beekeeping!) making their way and falling in love with one another!
  • Mrs. Martin’s Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan - Historical romance as two older women (73 and 69 years old, respectively!) plot the downfall of an absolutely Terrible Nephew who deserves everything that happens to him. An absolutely delicious comedic romp.
  • The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz - An AI repair technician and an autonomous robot who runs a small tea shop, set in a retro-futuristic America. It’s warm and gentle and yearning in very good ways.

Horror/Suspense

  • Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin - Gender apocalypse featuring trans women! A virus has turned anyone with over a certain level of testosterone into cannibal rape monsters, so we’re following our trans protagonists as they try to survive feral men, murderous TERFs, and a sociopathic bunker brat. This deserves a LOT of content warnings but it’s also been blurbed as a ‘bleeding love letter to trans women’ and it really is.
  • Blackwater Sister by Zen Cho - A Malaysian-American lesbian moves to Malaysia with her family, where she is haunted by her grandmother’s ghost. Her grandmother is out for supernatural revenge, involving our protagonist with gangsters and a terrifying goddess.
  • Fingersmith by Sarah Waters - Historical crime novel in which a thief poses as a lady’s maid for a con, and ends up developing feelings for the mark. Except the lady’s not as innocent as she seems, and it’s difficult to add more without spoiling the novel but it’s good!


Science fiction

  • A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine - Ambassador Mahit Dzmare travels to the capital of the interstellar Teixcalaanli Empire, discovers that her predecessor has died, and must find not only who murdered him, but why—while trying not to get murdered herself, and trying to maintain her small station’s independence from Teixcalaan’s ever-expanding empire. And there is a sequel but that has its own plot and requires you to read this one anyway!
  • Passing Strange by Ellen Klages - Set in San Francisco, built on artifice and delight as we follow a group of queer women both present and in the 1940s. Central story is a romance, two women trying to navigate both joy and the brutality of the worlds they inhabit.
  • This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - An epistolary love story across time and space, in far futures and alternative pasts as two rival agents—post-singularity Red and bio-consciousness Blue—foil and thwart one another.

Fantasy

  • The Burning Kingdoms by Tasha Suri - Indian-inspired fantasy trilogy (third book coming in 2024!) that follows a captive princess and a maidservant with forbidden magic who navigate the the tension between their different loyalties and the politics of empire. Just! So good!
  • The Kingston Cycle by C.L. Polk - A fantasy trilogy (that’s actually complete!) set in a world where witches are persecuted and placed in asylums…while secretly, the witches of elite families use that power in service of the crown. The first book (Witchmark) starts with a murder mystery and a doctor with PTSD who follows that mystery to government secrets that force him to confront his estranged family. It’s also M/M, but the sequels (Stormsong and Soulstar) center around F/F and F/NB main pairings, respectively. 
  • The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir - The first book starts with swordjock butches and lesbian necromancers in space going through (essentially) a haunted mansion together, and it just keeps going after that! It’s delightful, deranged, and full of fantastic characters I want to gnaw on!
  • When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo - A beautiful frame story with a very fairytale feel, where the cleric Chih is telling the story of a tiger and her lover, a female scholar, to a trio of hungry tigers who threaten to eat them if Chih tells the story incorrectly!
  • A Master of Djinn by P. Djeli Clark - Mystery and magic and suspense in a steampunk Cairo, set forty years after magic returned to the world! The first female agent for the Ministry of Alchemy, Enchantments, and Supernatural Entities is assigned to discover who murdered members of a secret cult. In addition to solving the case, she’s also assigned a rookie partner to train, and navigating the surprise return of her girlfriend, who has her own secrets! This is a really fun romp, full of joy and wonder. (And Fatma’s fabulous suits!)

Nonfiction

  • In the Dream House by Carmen Machado - A memoir about surviving domestic abuse, with each chapter using a different trope or genre convention to not only explore the way the relationship affected her sense of self, but also about trying (or failing) to find that representation in cultural history. It’s a rough read in places, but absolutely worth it if you’re in a space to handle that sort of content. (And in case it’s not obvious: her ex was another woman. Abuse isn’t limited by gender.)

Happy reading, and I’m happy to take recs too! ;)

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Welp, my plans have gone completely askew from my original planned writing goals for the year!

But! I did finally finish the first draft of the Awoo AU. It's...an untidy mess, to be honest. I usually have heavy outlines before writing longfic, but this went off vibes and energy and I already can tell that certain scenes will need to be added, revised, deleted, and I'm even considering changing the main antagonist entirely??? HELP.

But! It's a first draft. The first draft is done. First draft is better than no draft, and first drafts are always the worst drafts because they haven't yet been revised or edited!

So...when I do revisions, I'm going to have to outline it. As in, re-outline it. Just write out my little scene card descriptions in Scrivener, rearrange them, add missing scenes. Decide what scenes to omit. That sort of thing.

It's pretty daunting, but I'm excited for it! Just...not excited to do right away. I think I've earned a break from this longfic project. :)
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So I've been reading Eating to Extinction: The World's Rarest Foods and Why We Need to Save Them by Dan Saladino, and really enjoying it so far! The writing is engaging and I find the topic interesting, especially as he talks about how the loss of biodiversity risks us losing traditional foodways and more vulnerable to crop losses due to disease and climate change.

I've heard of the Svalbard Global Seed Vault before, but never the world's first seed bank: the Vavilov Institute, founded in 1921 by a Russian scientist dedicated to ending world hunger. His ideas fell out of favor with Stalin and he was sent to a prison camp in 1940. During WW2, though:

….his seed collection came close to being lost as the German Army blockaded Leningrad in a 28-month siege. The Soviets had plans in place to save works of art from the city’s galleries but had done little to protect the seed bank. The Nazis, however, recognised its potential as a future food resource and saw the institute as an asset they needed to target. Fortunately, Vavilov had so inspired his fellow scientists that they moved hundreds of boxes of seeds to a basement and took shifts inside the dark building, in the sub-zero temperatures, to protect he collection. What happened next is well known to botanists, but it’s a story we should all know.

Surrounded by seeds they could have eaten, the caretakers of the collection faced hunger rather than jeopardize the genetic resource. By the end of the 900-day siege, in the spring of 1944, nine of them had died of starvation, including the curator of the rice collection. He was found at his desk surrounded by bags of rice. ‘We were students of Vavilov,’ one survivor said, explaining their heroic efforts to protect the seeds. By then, Nikolai Vavilov was already dead. In 1943, at the age of fifty-five, he was claimed by the very thing he had spent his life working to prevent: starvation. He died in a Soviet prison and was buried in an unmarked grave.

This book includes foods thought to have gone extinct, but which have been brought ‘back to life’ and restored to farmers’ fields because their seeds were collected by Vavilov and his colleagues and kept safe inside the institute. Nearly a century after his dead, a new generation is following in Vavilov’s footsteps.

Just!!! How is this not amazing? It’s sad and heroic and all I can think about is the strength of purpose it must have been to been literally dying of starvation while surrounded by the food that could have saved their lives, but still holding on to hope that these could be useful to replenishing food after the war, and for future generations.
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Original Work (Short Stories)
Rabbit Test by Samantha Mills - 7k word story about reproductive rights and autonomy over generations and throughout history. It's dark and biting and uncomfortable, but it's a discomfort I want to sit with. Mind the warnings re: sexual assault, abuse, traumatic miscarriage, psych ward treatment, and suicide.

Unname Me at the Altar by Ashaye Brown - 2.8k words. Three generations of family in one home, and a grandparent whose name changes daily, serving as a living altar to their ancestors. Content warnings for character death and references to war and mass killings. It’s short and bitey and a testament to grief and survival and the impermanence of memory.

Skin by Isha Karki - 4.9k words. The daughter of Nepalese immigrants wears different skins around her wealthy boyfriend, her academic advisor, and her family. Content warnings for body horror, racism, misogyny, and references to sati and death/burning. This gave me such chills, both for its way of depicting assimilation (or the attempt thereof) in the pursuit of safety, and also carries echoes of selkie wives.

The Storyteller by Rhea Roy - 1.4k words. Mala Auntie goes to the crossroads to make a deal with the Devil. She wants her dead husband back; and don’t we know how these stories go? I love how this one plays with folklore (Mala Auntie studied the literature of far-off places during her post-grad!) and riddles. A happy ending and great palate cleanser compared to some of my other recs!

Books (Fiction)
Radcliffe Hall by Miyuki Jane Pinckard )

You Sexy Thing by Cat Rambo )

The Future of Another Timeline by Annalee Newitz )

The Beautiful Ones by Silvia Moreno-Garcia )

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin )

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong )

A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine )

The Demon of the House of Hua by Maria Ying )

Nonfiction
Eight Flavors: The Untold Story of American Cuisine )

My brain's been mush lately and I plan to read mostly romance novels and fanfic for a bit, maybe play some viddy games. I keep wanting to finish writing Awoo AU too, but...I think that this point I need to accept that I'm just tired and my brain needs a break. I'll keep plinking at it, but am trying to take the pressure off.

If you've read any of these and have thoughts or feels, please feel free to yell about it with me!!!!
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Congrats to all my amazing and skilled writer friends who have been writing about their years in review! I am not about that! :P Not at this time, anyway! So I'm going to focus on the year ahead!

I feel like I haven't been pushing myself lately or experimenting as much as I would like; or perhaps the old challenges just aren't challenging anymore. At this point, I'm confident in my ability to write longfic (admittedly, given time and only posting 1 or 2 major projects a year!). I'm also confident in my ability to pick up new fandoms (albeit more slowly than some) or write new (to me) kinks and character dynamics.

I want to write in ways that draw attention to the beauty or elegance of the words themselves, not 'just' in service to the story. I want to practice prose that feels more playful and experimental.

So I want to focus on writing as a craft again: the nitty gritty of sentences, vivid descriptions and careful consideration on why I choose a specific technique.

Therefore, I'm revisiting some writing exercises and books.
  • Word Painting by Rebecca McClanahan - one which I haven't finished reading, but have found very useful
  • Steering the Craft by Ursula K. Le Guin - a beloved favorite
  • A Writer's Grammar by C. Beth Burch - haven't actually read this one, but figured it might be useful!
My goal is to read a chapter a week and do the associated exercises for each book.

My current longfic projects:
  • Awoo AU: finish the first draft!!! I know I can do this in January, so that's my first goal! Revisions always take me a while, but I am confident I can at least finish this first draft! Then, depending on how my other longfic project goes, maybe I can do revisions and post later in the year?
  • Fallout Necromancy AU: The first draft is already written, and I already know areas that need massive revision. I'm tentatively planning revisions for March, and then (depending on how many more rounds of revisions it goes through and feedback from betas) hoping to post it in October. Thematically spooky, right? As for why I'm guessing it'll take 7 months from first revisions to posting, that's because it's currently 40k words of messy first draft and I know from experience that it takes me a while!

I’m iffy on what exchanges, if any, I plan to do this year. I’d like to do [community profile] cephalopartyexchange , and I always have a good time with [community profile] black_emporium  and [community profile] femslashex , but exchanges also take a lot of juice out of me! So I’ll probably do what I usually do: panic at the last minute and sign up, or sign up for pinch hits!

Last: I’m signing up for [community profile] getyourwordsout ! I’m doing the habit pledge, and signing up for 240 days of writing this year! I chose this goal rather than a wordcount because I want to stay in the habit of writing…and focusing on wordcount alone doesn’t capture the amount of editing or revision I need to do, especially on longer fics!

I'm not bothering to itemize any shorter fics or one-offs, because I know I'll write them anyway regardless of my plans! And a lot of them will probably dovetail with my writing exercises!

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